Most fundraisers cringe at the idea they are “selling” something. Or even worse, that sales techniques should be mimicked in the fundraising process.

But lets back up for a second. We are not talking about hard hitting and aggressive sales that might be encountered at a car dealership or when watching an infomercial for a pair of scissors that cut through an inch of steel. In fact, in certain circumstances there is a need for a hard sale – clearance sales, store specials, fast moving consumer products, etc.

We are generally talking about a sales method that respects the consumer, treats them as an equal, speaks to them in a highly personal and non-threatening way – but most importantly it is a process that nurtures a relationship that is grounded in one very simple principle: not making the ask too soon . . . and definitely not making the ask until a mutual relationship has been established.

If we ignore this one principle we run the risk of coming across as pushy, presumptive and arrogant – and of course losing the sale.

It’s no secret that in today’s socially driven consumer economy said consumer is in complete control. Consumers interact with, purchase from, and donate to organizations they believe in. If we force ourselves on the consumer and presume they should donate to our cause because “we are making an impact” we will have already lost them.

We need to view the cultivation of a donor as process. Even though they may have the capacity (the money to give) it doesn’t mean they have the affinity (interest in our cause). And it certainly doesn’t mean they have the propensity (willingness to give) to us. It’s really that simple. These three tenets must be in alignment. If one is out of place the likelihood of the person donating to an organization diminishes.

As a fundraiser your goal is to position these three principles in your favor.

To achieve this it takes time and nuance. As Gary Vaynerchuk points out in his book Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook – it takes a series of “touches or experiences” to draw the potential donor into your circle and ultimately respond to the fundraising “ask” – which is Gary’s proverbial jab!

Read more about Gary’s thoughts regarding treating fundraising like sales on his recent MEDIUM POST.